Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was bound to happen due to historical forces.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects would admire its courage and fear its power. Thus, the princely chicken maintains its dominion.
Hippocrates: due to an excess of a substance in its pancreas.
Jacques Derrida: Many interpretations can arise from the act of the chicken crossing the road, and all are equally valid since the author’s true intent can never be discerned.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken, and I’ll uncover the truth. Timothy Leary: Because that was the only type of journey allowed by the Establishment.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two. Nietzsche: Staring at the Road for too long invites the Road to stare back at you.
Oliver North: National security was at risk. B.F. Skinner: External influences from birth led it to develop in a way that made it inclined to cross roads.
Carl Jung: Cultural events necessitated individual chickens to cross roads at that particular moment.
Jean-Paul Sartre: To act in good faith and remain true to itself.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: “Crossing” was inherent in the chicken and the road, leading to its realization.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your perspective.
Aristotle: To fulfill its potential. Buddha: By questioning this, you deny your own chicken nature.
Howard Cosell: It may have been one of history’s most astonishing events—a remarkable occurrence.
Salvador Dali: The Fish. Darwin: It was the logical next step in evolution.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not resist death.
Epicurus: For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it went beyond it.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle drove it to do so.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg: We’re uncertain which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving quickly.
David Hume: Out of habit.
Saddam Hussein: It was an act of rebellion justifying the use of force.
Jack Nicholson: Because it wanted to. That’s the reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Ronald Reagan: I can’t recall.
John Sununu: The Air Force happily provided transportation, so the chicken took advantage of the opportunity.
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Henry David Thoreau: To live intentionally and extract all the marrow from life.
Mark Twain: Reports of its crossing were greatly exaggerated.
